“I wish they taught this stuff in school”.
Many of the clients I see in my therapy practice in Portland, Maine struggle with their emotional experiences. I frequently hear that no one ever taught them how to talk about their feelings, what the purpose of emotions are, or what do do with them.
Emotions can be difficult to navigate and many of us are not naturally good at it. Even with the most emotionally intelligent upbringing, you may experience challenges regulating and managing painful or overwhelming feelings. Many of the women I work with in my therapy practice in Portland Maine have some excellent skills and one or two areas where they get stuck. Knowing what works best for you in different situations can be the key to controlling your emotions versus being controlled by them.
Starting the search is overwhelming!
The decision to go to therapy is no small thing. Finding a therapist is hard enough, never mind finding a therapist that is the right fit for you. Maybe you’ve heard it’s important to find someone who is the right fit for you but you’re not sure what that looks like. You may have had negative experiences in the past and want to be sure things are different this time. And, odds are if you are taking the step to choose a therapist, you have some stress on your mind. This can be an overwhelming process. I often get calls at my Portland, Maine therapy practice from potential clients who feel like counseling is the next step for them but they don’t know what questions to ask or what to look for. Here are a few things to consider when searching for a therapist who is the right fit for you and some questions to ask when you get them on the phone.
Women come to therapy because something isn’t going right and they are ready to make a change. Counseling for women’s issues involves taking action to make that change. I help women in my counseling practice in Portland, Maine make changes to live their best lives possible by setting intentional goals. Set yourself up for success from the start by creating goals that will get you there.
In a recent session, I asked a client what her life would look like if she were happy. This is a question to get people thinking about how would they know if they were happy and what they need to get there. If you want to change, if you want to be happier, if you want to live your best life, you need to know what that looks like. So what do you want?
Therapy is often be shrouded in mystery. Names are followed by an alphabet soup of letters and clients are rarely educated about what the letters mean or how a professional was trained. I think it’s important for clients to understand the process of therapy and everything behind the scenes.
Do you struggle with emotions? Many of us do. They are messy, confusing, painful, and hard to pin down. You may lack the skills to effectively navigate intense emotional experiences. What was your upbringing related to feelings? Were you taught what they were or what to do with them? You may not have learned emotional intelligence in school or at home and maybe you were even taught to ignore feelings, push them away, or to not talk about them. Emotions don't have to be unmanageable.
It's difficult to remain positive in a world that can be so bleak. If you're paying attention, there's a lot to be worried about. Mass shootings, suicides, climate change, chronic illness, financial stress, political divisions, and more can take a toll on our mood and contribute to chronic stress. It is possible to remain grounded and even find happiness despite these challenges and tragedies.
It’s normal to be unsure of what to expect in therapy if you’ve never been or when starting with a new counselor. You may imagine a stuffy professional with bifocals and a note pad asking about your relationship with your mother and saying “how does that make you feel?” The unknowns can be intimidating and you might be worried about being judged. You may even have had negative experiences with counselors in the past. It’s understandable that you may be hesitant. It’s a vulnerable thing to sit in an unfamiliar room with a stranger and talk about your concerns, however, it can be a wonderful, freeing, self-growth process that can lead to so much light, happiness, and healing. You deserve that.
I don’t want to be judged….
I recently had the wonderful opportunity of sharing some of my own personal story and talking about the work I do with women as a guest on Jodi Flynn's very special podcast, Women Taking the Lead. Jodi connects listeners with real women who are overcoming challenges to succeed in their lives. Women Taking the Lead "offers a unique opportunity to listen in on what is on the minds of successful women leaders: what were their wake-up calls, how did they develop their leadership style, and what are they doing to continue to advance themselves as leaders within their own organizations and as entrepreneurs".
Putting yourself out there is no easy feat! I spoke with Jodi about how fear has been a major factor for me. Fear is a major factor for many of the individuals I work with. Tune in here to hear more about my story and how I help others overcome their fear through counseling.